Feeling Very Old...

For anyone reading who wants to read neither an organ recital nor a rant about an organ recital, please skip this post!

As the title says, I feel very old right now. I know, I should feel old. I AM old. When will I get that through my head? I'm over 50 and should expect all this decay to be catching up with me. Up to now I've always had lots of drive, energy and endurance able to hold out against kids much younger than I. Always able to do the "big jobs" with energy to spare. Between thyroid crashes, that is!

Until recently. I've had more bouts with sickness in the last six months than I think I've had in the last six years. Every cold bug that's gone around town, I've managed to catch. And not bounce back from. I've lost almost 10 days every time. When that norovirus outbreak hit nearby? I think I had that too, and I wasn't back to full speed for a full two weeks! I thought I'd never been so sick in my life.

Then two weeks ago, another bug. Or so I thought. You know the drill, aches and pains and fever that send you to bed. Then came the worst cramps I ever had. Well, they tell me it's diverticulitis. That it is allegedly a "lifestyle" disease. It is supposed to happen to people who live on white bread, fast food, no fresh fruits and vegetables. Did anyone tell this disease that I am working on living a more vegetarian lifestyle full of all the recommended whole grains, fruits, veggies, and legumes? I don't drink soda pop. I rarely do fast food (less than once a month!). I don't eat from the Costco freezer much anymore either. I'm a good girl and take vitamins, minerals, and fish oil.

The cure is as bad as the disease! The antibiotics make me nauseous and keep me wide awake at night, the pain killer (Vicodin, no less!) gives me a headache and doesn't kill pain. Then there's the liquid diet. I've been doing liquids for 5 days now.

I guess I'll be living on Metamucil for the rest of my life. I don't ever want to go through this again!

The real insult? I've been struggling to lose some extra pounds added over the last couple of years. After a week of minimal eating, and almost another week of water, tea, broth and gelatin, how does my body repay me? Not an ounce has come off. (sigh)

This is going to be a real spiritual struggle for me. I want to think I deserve to do as well as my mom who, at 81, has no health issues outside of glaucoma and macular degeneration (both well controlled, thankfully!). But in truth, what do any of us deserve?

We deserve the complete and utter wrath of God (the wages of sin) . It is only by His mercy and grace that we have anything good in our lives, and the wiser choice is to be grateful for what He has done and that He has withheld from us what we really deserve.

End of rant!

Check out this great quote on Christian growth from the team at Pyromaniacs.