Feeling Very Old...

For anyone reading who wants to read neither an organ recital nor a rant about an organ recital, please skip this post!

As the title says, I feel very old right now. I know, I should feel old. I AM old. When will I get that through my head? I'm over 50 and should expect all this decay to be catching up with me. Up to now I've always had lots of drive, energy and endurance able to hold out against kids much younger than I. Always able to do the "big jobs" with energy to spare. Between thyroid crashes, that is!

Until recently. I've had more bouts with sickness in the last six months than I think I've had in the last six years. Every cold bug that's gone around town, I've managed to catch. And not bounce back from. I've lost almost 10 days every time. When that norovirus outbreak hit nearby? I think I had that too, and I wasn't back to full speed for a full two weeks! I thought I'd never been so sick in my life.

Then two weeks ago, another bug. Or so I thought. You know the drill, aches and pains and fever that send you to bed. Then came the worst cramps I ever had. Well, they tell me it's diverticulitis. That it is allegedly a "lifestyle" disease. It is supposed to happen to people who live on white bread, fast food, no fresh fruits and vegetables. Did anyone tell this disease that I am working on living a more vegetarian lifestyle full of all the recommended whole grains, fruits, veggies, and legumes? I don't drink soda pop. I rarely do fast food (less than once a month!). I don't eat from the Costco freezer much anymore either. I'm a good girl and take vitamins, minerals, and fish oil.

The cure is as bad as the disease! The antibiotics make me nauseous and keep me wide awake at night, the pain killer (Vicodin, no less!) gives me a headache and doesn't kill pain. Then there's the liquid diet. I've been doing liquids for 5 days now.

I guess I'll be living on Metamucil for the rest of my life. I don't ever want to go through this again!

The real insult? I've been struggling to lose some extra pounds added over the last couple of years. After a week of minimal eating, and almost another week of water, tea, broth and gelatin, how does my body repay me? Not an ounce has come off. (sigh)

This is going to be a real spiritual struggle for me. I want to think I deserve to do as well as my mom who, at 81, has no health issues outside of glaucoma and macular degeneration (both well controlled, thankfully!). But in truth, what do any of us deserve?

We deserve the complete and utter wrath of God (the wages of sin) . It is only by His mercy and grace that we have anything good in our lives, and the wiser choice is to be grateful for what He has done and that He has withheld from us what we really deserve.

End of rant!

Check out this great quote on Christian growth from the team at Pyromaniacs.

A Strong Call for Homeschooling

I read a number of blogs on a regular basis; Ingrid Schlueter's "Hope In Laodicea" is one of my favorites. In this morning's blog post Ingrid shared the story of a little 7-year old boy who has been violently bullied at his school several times over the last year.

Sadly these events are no longer rare occurrences, they have become part of the normal environment for far too many schoolchildren. This is criminal!!! If a child had come to school after receiving at home the kind of injuries this little boy suffered at the hands of other children, child protective services would have invaded his home and removed him to foster care!

What is it going to take to get parents to yank their kids out of the schools and protect them from this? The schools won't do it, their hands are tied by government regulations! The educational establishment is so intent on trying to offend no one that they are willing to sacrifice precious children to this kind of abuse.

Homeschooling is not the great mystery many of my friends thought it was. I did it with my 4 children and I am here to tell you that if I in all my weaknesses could do it, any loving parent can do it. Was it easy? No. But the difficulties were NOT in the educating. The difficulties came from the challenges of living within the means of one income. It was incredibly hard to live in a tiny house (the best we could afford on one income) with 4 active little ones. It was difficult doing without a lot of the things that other families have and do (fast food restaurants, large wardrobes, nice furniture, even top-notch curriculum packages).

Blogger and author Tim Challies wrote a book review that addresses nicely the issue of covetousness. I struggled with this as a homeschool mom! In retrospect, I would not change a thing. The Lord has been so gracious to us and met our needs all along the way. Isn't that all He promised us?

I strongly challenge all parents (especially Christian parents!) to seriously consider homeschooling. It is time to take our children back from an educational establishment that actively works against everything we believe in, and stands aside while children are brutalized. There are some great books out there that can be helpful in making the homeschooling decision. Check out:

• Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling (read an excerpt here)
  


• Who Owns the Children?: Compulsory Education and the Dilemma of Ultimate Authority
  


• For the Children's Sake: Foundations of Education for Home and School

There are plenty of veteran homeschoolers who would be happy and willing to help out any family desiring to take the plunge into educating their children; I certainly would offer my help and encouragement. I realize there are exceptions, but in general the schools are no more than government brain-washing camps. It is high time to stop giving them public schools a free pass while we still can, they have much to answer for.

Sin & Temptation Chapter 7

I tried writing a brilliant response then lost everything I wrote to a sudden power outage. It must not have been brilliant at all and I will be thankful to be spared any embarrassment.

I enjoyed this chapter perhaps more than all those already discussed. Though the main point is simple, it brings to mind so many things most of which are already covered here by others.

When Owen talked about unregenerate people who try to kill sin, one immediate thought was about some of my children’s Christian friends. They demand that their associates cease all their worldly behaviors because they feel as Christians they should not have to be exposed to cursing, etc. They are demanding that the “unregenerate” behave as “regenerate” not for the sake of the sinners, but simply for the comfort of the “saved”. I know Blackaby’s “Knowing God” is in some disfavor among Reformed types, but I took one thought away from that that had great meaning for me; we should not be cursing the darkness for doing what it is supposed to do…being dark! Rather it is our job to be salt and light, to proclaim Christ wherever and whenever we can.

One more thought. I was reading recently at Slice where Ingrid shared a quote from Paris Reidhead out of the book Getting Evangelicals Saved. Paris was a notable preacher from the mid 20th century and he called for a one to two-year moratorium on preaching the “plan of salvation”. He said:

“Then I would call on everyone who has use of the airways and the pulpits to preach the holiness of God, the righteousness of God and the law of God, until sinners would cry out, ‘What must we do to be saved?’

Since beginning to read this book I have developed a deep grief for all those who will be lost because the church has designed itself to be inoffensive to the world. I understand now more than ever how hard it is to get into the kingdom. In Matthew 7:13-14 Jesus said , “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

I pray the church in America will wake up and stop following after fads. Everything we need is in the Word of God.

Warfare

Our hardy band of readers has finished Chapter 6 in "Overcoming Sin and Temptation: of the Mortification of Sin in Believers."

This chapter was so rich I’m not sure where to focus!

Loren, I loved your “sin as ticking time-bomb” picture. I got the same feeling but would not have been able to describe it as well.

One of my great moments in this chapter was in the chapter sub-heading, “Mortification Consists in a Habitual Weakening of Sin.”

In this section I understood why I have failed to overcome some troubling sins; seeking them out and killing them has not been a habit. Perhaps because I’ve never had a good sense of just how dangerous, destructive and sneaky even the smallest of sins are; of course any sin is abhorrent to God but I, like many, tend to compare my sins to the sins of others and think “I’m not so bad”.

I’m sure I represent a large body of believers who live our lives as if the sins which plague us are something we do not think about until one jumps up in surprise attack. I know how often I have walked through my days in a sort of “ignorant bliss” when I think I am doing well; then how hard I fall when the serpent strikes! I then feel betrayed because I have mistaken sin’s inactivity for sin’s death.

Reading this book has forced me to be thinking about sin on a daily basis. I like this! I realize how our comfortable lives in North America distract us from the important work of rooting out sin.

I appreciate war analogies when considering this subject. I have many military members in my family including my son who spent a year in one of the most dangerous places in Iraq. In war it is most important to study the enemy; the better one knows one’s enemy, the greater chance one has for success because his moves can be anticipated and crushed before he makes them. My son lived in a state of constant alertness. He and his fellow soldiers could not even go to the bathroom without donning their full body armor. Things we take for granted and pass by without thinking (such as roadside litter) were objects of danger for these soldiers; a plastic bag could kill.

I often feel like Don, as if I were the one on the cross struggling and growing weaker; at times I feel like such a failure and just want to give up the fight.

This chapter has spurred me to get back to memorizing scripture. When Satan was allowed to tempt Jesus in the desert, our Lord answered “It is written…” I’m very sure the more scripture we carry in our heads the more weapons we have in our arsenal against our particular sins. For me, because my quick tongue is a huge problem, I’m going to attempt the book of James!

I’ve loved reading everyone’s thoughts. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas.

Killing Sin: Our Own Power, Or God's Power?

My thoughts for chapter 5 of "Overcoming Sin & Temptation" are very short. The whole of Psalm 78 is filled with history of God's people rebelling, receiving punishment and returning to God. Owen quotes verses 32-37, a good summary of the Psalm.

I think the verses that follow Owen's quote (vs. 38-42) add important meaning:

"Yet he, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity
and did not destroy them; he restrained his anger often
and did not stir up all his wrath. He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again. How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the desert! They tested God again and again and provoked the Holy One of Israel".

We will never successfully mortify any sin in our lives unless we have a good sense of the holiness of God against which to contrast our sinful nature. Without that we done as Owen's sinner;

"...to his former iniquity he has added cursed hypocrisy, and is now on a safer path to hell than he was before. He has got another heart than he had, that is more cunning; not a new heart, that is more holy".

Sin and Temptation Chapter 4

I started this chapter several times before I began to get understanding of it. I was only able to complete my reading this morning after putting all my real-life distractions to rest.

As one who maintains a large garden, I appreciated Owen's gardening analogy and have used that in the past though not as richly as Owen. I think of this year in particular when I was called to my mom's home to assist her after a fall which left her with a severely broken arm. After 4 weeks away from home, I returned to a garden in which I literally could not find half of the food-bearing plants! Though my husband was applying water he was unable to attend to the unwanted plants, thus only half the job was done. Weeds grow faster than fruiting plants and move in quickly for the kill. How like the sin in our lives; it is much harder work to kill the sin than to fill ourselves on the richness of God's word to make ourselves feel spiritual. And how quickly sin will choke out true spiritual fruit.

I chose this quote as a highlight of the week's reading: "Men that are sick and wounded under the power of lust make many applications for help; they cry to God when the perplexity of their thoughts overwhelms them, even to God do they cry, but are not delivered; in vain do they use many remedies--" How often do we hear of believers crying out to God for relief of sin's consequences without doing any work to destroy the sin in themselves? They attend church and Bible studies. They read self-help books, they seek counseling, they join support groups and may even take medication; joy and peace still elude them. In Psalm 66 the writer speaks of praising God for His great deeds; in verse 18 we read, "If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened."

This week's concept seems to come back to the simple statement "Be killing sin or it will be killing you."

Overcomers Indeed!

I said I was going to post thoughts about my reading and haven't managed to get back here to do that. Writing takes work and I've been avoiding the effort in favor of easier activities; not to mention that my husband has been working from home a lot and it's harder to get at the computer during those times. That said, I have a bit to say after reading chapter 3 in "Overcoming Sin and Temptation".

This chapter was much slower reading than the first two, and I also spent time catching up with the forewords and introductions which slowed me down a little more. I read the first two chapters out of a different edition while waiting for my copy of this version from Amazon. I am glad to note the suggestion that reading aloud might be helpful; I am finding this to be true and am reading aloud at times, or slowly and silently while applying vocal inflections in my head.

Encouraging and instructive are two words that describe the effect of this chapter. I appreciate Owen's discussion of works as means to mortification and his discussion of why the Spirit does not do all the work, summed up when he says "He does not so work our mortification in us as not to keep it still an act of our obedience."

Though Owen is mainly pointing out errors in Catholic traditions and I am not Catholic (husband is ex-C), he enlightened me as to why I spent so many of my early Christian years in defeat and discouragement! I grew up in a non-denominational Bible church with teachings similar to Baptist churches. As a young Christian, I tried to do all the "duties" suggested in church. I tried having "quiet time" and keeping a journal. I joined discussion/self-help groups to try erasing self-defeating behaviors (and overcome a childhood trauma), went to "Bible Studies", read numerous books, used many devotional tools. I followed the instructions in a popular pamphlet suggesting we simply needed to pray daily to be "filled with the Spirit" and waited passively for it to happen. All these efforts were fruitless.

In those times I was not engaging in true obedience to the Lord; I was trying to copy other believers, please others, and put on the outward behaviors of a good Christian without knowing how to effect inward change. When I began teaching in a children's Bible-memory program in which my kids were enrolled, I began to study the Word itself.

In my terror of causing a little one (I know this applies not just to children, but to anyone young in the faith) to stumble, I studied hard so as to convey the best possible understanding to the children in my care. As a home-school mom, I also wanted to give the best I could to my own children. In that study, and in the memorization I began alongside my kids, the Lord worked a miracle in my heart. I began to *know Him* rather than simply *knowing about Him*. How simple it seems now!

As parents our job is to mold mature adults capable of independent living. To that end my husband and I applied the axiom "never do for your kids what they can do for themselves." Nonetheless, we needed to make sure they had good understanding of the required task as well as the tools for accomplishment. In this same way the Holy Spirit will not kill our sin for us while we passively await His intervention, but He will help us as we work to recognize our sin and then set about killing it from the roots up.

I am looking forward to reading the rest of this book. I'm going to see Mannheim Steamroller in their Christmas concert tonight and will have some wonderful "down-time" in our hotel room. I'm going to spend time mulling over more of this book!

Willow Creek Hosting Mystical Youth Conference?

Watcher's Lamp: Willow Creek's Emergent & Mystical Youth Conference

This event reveals the disturbing influence of "emergent" thought upon the church (meaning the "body of Christ on earth"). Brian McLaren will be a keynote speaker at the conference, a man who seems to side-step the substitutionary atonement of Christ and instead espouses a gospel of works.

I hope anyone reading this little blog will do a little research and find out for themselves just what McLaren, Rob Bell, and others are really teaching.

Why on earth is the church accepting Eastern mysticism in its midst? Why are such notables as Bill Hybels welcoming this move? Don't they remember the warnings to the early Christians? Check out 2 Corinthians 6:13-15.

Is Anyone Out There?

Hey...

If there is anyone actually reading here, I'd love it if you post a comment and tell me so.

Reading Christian Classics

In response to this suggestion I have joined a group reading "Holiness: Its Nature, Hindrances, Difficulties, and Roots" by Dr. J.C. Ryle. I am a good ways behind the others who started at the end of August. I am looking forward to this adventure and hope others might read here and join in. I'll post thoughts here and there as I make my way through the book.

In Christ Alone Worship Video with Lyrics

There are some nice versions of this "out there", I just randomly snagged this one because it includes visual of lyrics...one of my favorites.

Drive-through church

Sadly, as funny as this is, there is a lot of truth in it. Too many churchgoers want fast-food church...

The Lame Blogger

Wow. I can't believe it's been 9 months since I last made an entry to this blog.

It has been so long I couldn't remember my login name! Then I find out it has been changed to a google feature. Fancy that.

Hopefully I'll have something more intelligent to say at some point, I'm feeling a little like I'm lost in the desert after leaving a wonderful "job" (well, ministry really) at my church.

I'm always torn in situations like this...between wondering if I'm having to give it up because I failed the Lord in some way, or if instead it's because He has something else He wants me to move on to. LOL, my dear husband has been after me to stay home since last winter. Part of me wonders if the stumbles of the last couple of months were allowed into my life because I kept a stiff neck and tried too hard to hold on to something that wasn't really mine.

Guess I can ruminate on that some more later. Time to get some supper on the table! (For all you left-coasters, "supper" is mid-west talk for "dinner").

Hello? Do I really have a blog? I'm new at this.